CALAMITY!

So I got back from Cornwall after two weeks of my 40swims. Well, Katie’s really in Dorset and a day trip to Cornwall.

A day trip to Cornwall where I spent most of the time on the train. As is my way with these things – being a bit of an under-traveled Londoner (everywhere should be within reach of a 3 zone travel card, or indeed short bike ride – and be fully lit at ALL times) – I thought Totnes must only be ‘down the road’ from Penzance. Ho ho, ‘down the road’? You muppet!

I got to the train station – after a thoroughly relaxing morning of pootling – at 12.30, did my initial inquiries and tum de dum, Totnes… Plymouth (was there the day before)… Saltash… St. Germans… Liskeard… St. Austell… Be Joisus, wait a minute, this list goes on forEVER. I would arrive in Penzance a full two and a half hours later. TWO AND A HALF HOURS LATER? That meant if I just went there and back I’d still not be back till well late in the afternoon. Me and my cavalier attitude to itinerary creation.

Anyway, Cornwall was very beautiful, but I was obviously not there long enough. I did find myself the most beautiful beach – Godrevy Cove – which had rusty rocks on it. Rusty rocks? They either had tin ore in them, or it was something metal that had worn itself stone shaped on the comings and goings of the tide. I prefer to think it was the former. I had my swim, and had to leave immediately. There was a nasty fog coming off the sea and it was turning a sunny beach all Steven King. Then I jumped on the next train and it took 3 & 3/4 hrs to get back. Just read it in words and get your head around the duration properly:¬† THREE AND THREE QUARTER HOURS!¬† That’s like a 73 bus from Seven Sisters to Victoria and back again in the rush hour with heavy road works, pissing down with rain.  Blimey!

Now where was I? Oh yeah; CALAMITY.

I’ve just realised that was quite some digression. Quite some digression indeed, but pretty good for my standards. As I’ve been cycling around and thoughts have bobbed into my head, I have learned to get them down quickly on paper. Because, no doubt, as that thought starts to gain altitude and soar, it will quickly be attacked from overhead by a more aggressive predator thought SWOOPING from above. And the original thought will be held in the marauder thought’s tallons yelping for life… And off she goes – good-bye original thought, fair well. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you from the vicissitude of my random thoughts. My digressions CONTAIN digressions, and then I have this hydra-headed thought-serpent yapping at me in tens of tongues. If you think I’m joking borrow my brain for a bit and see how you get on. You’d be proud of me.

So… Go back, retrace your steps, it’ll be fine.

Cornwall, got back from, CALAMITY! Oh yeah, I remember.

I get home, get the chip out my phone, that now has two weeks worth of photos backed-up to it. ‘Chip out of my phone’ I hear the sadder techy-er amongst you say. I’m glad you asked. You see, when I bought my camera the – at the time – fairly big chip it came with was half a Gig. 512 megabytes, to be precise. Now the chip in my phone is 4 Gigs. FOUR BLEEDING GIGA-BLEEDING-BYTES. To my ears a VAST amount of digital space to store all sorts of (let’s face it) shite on.

To put this in perspective, when I started as a runner in an Edit Facility 14-ish years ago (I now can’t NOT call them Edit Felicity’s) a gargantuan and much prized asset to the company was a grand’s worth of One Half a Whole Gigabyte of Hard Drive. It was the size of a shoe-box. The four gig chip in my phone could be a toenail clipping.

So, because I had this small-camera-chip/large-phone-chip thing going on I decided to back-up the photos from my camera onto my phone. Now, I just said the words; ‘back’ and ‘up’ and I’m sure the Kevin Spacey/Kaiser Sozer plot-twist-spoiling Smart Alecs of you out there can see the devilish denouement. I’ll give you a another clue – ZAPP. That noise you just heard was the sound of me gurglingly, horrified, my shaking face cradling in my unhelpful hands.

Bloody untrustworthy solid state bloody toenail clipping 4 gig chips.

So no photos of the last two weeks. There is a GLIMMER of hope. I backed them onto Katie’s computer. Then trashed them. But I know they’re still there, awaiting un-erasal. If only I could… get… to… the…

Blast.

It’s the End of Week 3

I’ve just got back from Swim 20 – which was at Gwithian / Godrevy Cove near St. Ives… if you MUST know! - and I’m going to do, yes I’m GOING to do, some of this blog business. Uh huh, yeah, that’s right Bubs. Summa dat old school blogging bidness they be talking about… WHAT? Sorry.

 

On the train down to Penzance I came up with a devilish idea to just get some things down about my swims. To get this writing ball rolling. What follows is a verbatim transcription of what went down in my little brown notebook.

 

That admission might lead me into trouble, because now you KNOW I’ve been taking notes, so there really isn’t any excuse. I know you knew that, but me knowing you know that doesn’t help. If you know me AT ALL, you know I am glacially slow to move. For anything or anyone. Bar Martha. Or Mum.

 

To blog, perchance to witter… (interesting [spelled s.t.o.o.p.i.d] aside; ‘witter’ is not to be found on either definr.com or dictionary.com. Jesus, my raison d’etre has no official description. I shall change that. Watch; I’m wittering.)

 

Anyhoooo, here’s what I wrote:

 

A quick blurt – let’s do 2 words per place…

1. Jesus Green – sunny, students, thin pool, clam, nervous, fucked shoulder

 

2 WORDS NOT EHOUGH!

 

2. Holkham – Big bike ride, odd b&b, long walk 2 beach, good pub, knackered, mozzy’s

 

3. Cromer – BIG bike ride, newish b&b complex, faded glory, rundown, shoulder kind of repairing

 

4. Waverney River - Beautiful hot day, DISS, access thru b&b (lovely owner), very scared in water, Gainsborough beauty

 

5. Walberwick – Nice train journey, lovely Andy Myatt, great bike ride, Gordon Brown visits Southwold

 

6. King’s Reach – CLOSED!! CANCELLED, very long bike ride, back at Mum’s

BREAK WITH MOO 2 WEEKS LOVE IT!!!

6. Lewes Lido – The Ruby’s, beautiful sun, arrived very early, empty pool, lovely lifeguard

7. Saltdean Lido – Great ride, seafront, Roedean, empty, bouncer training!

8. Brighton Beach – tide out, empty, getting cold

9. Durdle Door – campsite, weather closing-in, hung over, illness closing-in, bed 7 night – 10 morning, feel weird

10. Dancing Ledge – CANCELLED, ILL, SHIT WEATHER, COLD, HORRIBLE – beautiful walk, speak to Janet Oxley (ITV News) cliff edge

10. Burton Bradstock – CANCELLED, SHIT WEATHER, BAD BEACH

10. Charmouth Beach – Heavy bike ride, lovely Janet & Bob, Dvorak, WordPress idea, feel like son!

11. Figheldean – Nice train 2 Salisbury, camping, feel weird, empty village cul-de-sac, rain closing-in, Amesbury not great! RAIN…

12. Farleigh & District – BEAUTIFUL / weather, long great bike ride from Salisbury, amazing run-down mansion. Fell in love, deeply, beautiful river

13. Henleaze – Hate Bristol! LOVE HENLEAZE, huge, friendly Mark Thompson, diving boards, beautiful weather. LOVE IT

14. Chagford Lido – Katie’s & Family w/ Seb, Dartmouth pub, middle-of-nowhere “we’re on a farm” retort, river-fed water. Walk + pub. Nice

15. Spitchwick Common – MIDDLE OF DARTMOUTH, cold, drop-dead beauty, stark, kids jump off cliff. COLD, deep sense of wholeness with earth!

16. Brixham Lido – ITV blown out, pissed off, bad mood, salty water! ODD – Good Mood! Long walk w/ G – BEAUTIFUL! Kingswear England’s Amalfi, Dartmouth cream tea. Nice

17. Saunton Sands – All alone, long train. NICE. SHIT WEATHER SHIT BEACH. LONG AMAZING BIKE RIDE – POOPED. 2a.m. noise Bad sleep

18. Plymouth Tinside Lido – Big town, ITV interview! Slat water, less odd. Good swim, cream crackered. GOOD SLEEP

19. Penzance Jubilee Lido – Train long, “no photos”!!! massive, empty, bad vibe

20. Godrevy / Gwithian – Rusty stones, shoal of surfers, mist coming-in, beauty, long long enough bike ride, adorable

************************************************************************

O.k. then… That’s the treatment, I realise it’s somewhat stacatto but at least it help me get something down. Hurrah. I shall now start to flesh out a synopsis and we’ll be in business…

 

Don’t forget – www.justgiving.com/40swims

I’m supposed to write a blog. But I have to admit; I’m reluctant to do so at this very moment. I DO want to… and I don’t. If you see what I mean? 

 

It’s one of those classic things one knows one must do, but doesn’t want to. I’m knackerd after another day in the saddle (30 miles up and down. Or up and up and up, then down) and ‘Bad Wisdom’ by Bill Drummond quietly calling me from my bag,

“Come on Justin, I’m MUCH more fun. Alls you’ve got to do is lie back and keep your eyes open…”

 

Here’s what Tim Ferriss advises about blogging in HIS blog:

 

The Top 5 Uncommon Timesavers for Bloggers/Writers

 1. Decide how you’re measuring success before writing a post. What’s your metric? Form follows function.

        The usual; to make people laugh. 

 2. Post less to be read more.

        Is NEVER allowed?

 3. Define the lead and close, then fill it in.

        Lead -    Did you know I want to go to bed?

        Close -   Goodnight, x

4. Think in lists, even if the post isn’t a list.

         Jesus Green Lido, Cambridge

         Holkham Beach

         Cromer Beach

         Waverney River

         Walberswick Beach

         Lewes Lido

         Saltdean Lido

         Be Right On Beach

         Durdle Door

         Charmouth Beach

         Avon River @ Figheldean

         Farliegh & District River Swimming Club

         Sandford Parks Lido, Cheltenham

         Henleaze Lake

         Chagford Lido

         River Dart @ Spitchwick Common

         Shoalstone Lido @ Brixham

         Shorham Sands

5. The best posts are often right in front of you… or the ones you avoid.

         Can I avoid this one? For Now. Please?

 

 So, the blog’s about to kick off. Mark my words. Any minute now…

 

 I’m ON IT. I’m all over it.

 

Heavens, my bed looks inviting…

Charmouth

                                             Managed the tenth swim, despite wintry weather, off Charmouth Beach on Lyme Bay. These two pics were taken by my friends there. You can read about it by following this link to Bob’s blog.

D’Oh!

I was starting to write my blog last night when my laptop told me it needed more juice. So I look in my bags for the wires… and guess what?

Yep, no wires. So the blogs going to have to wait till I get back to London on Wednesday.

Sorry about that. Bit this is the first week – the teething week!

Welcome

Hello there, my name is Justin Missingham and my daughter Martha has eczema.

Me & Martha

Martha’s not alone – around one fifth of all children of school age have eczema in the UK and as many as one in twelve adults suffer from it. The severity of this disease (truly a ‘lack of ease’) ranges from hot, itchy skin to severe, debilitating  flare ups that draw the sufferer into seeking temporary alleviation by hypnotic scratching. This scratching doesn’t help. It leads to physical symptoms like broken skin, bleeding and scaring and psychological and emotional symptoms like poor sleep, low self-esteem and irritability.

Over the 7 years of Martha’s life I have seen my daughter suffer the whole range of symptoms first hand, and all I can say is that eczema is a horrible condition to suffer.

I have its associated atopic condition asthma. (That last alone sentence is enough to spark an attack!) and while science has given me  some magical medicines to alleviate my symptoms, people with eczema only have a limited palette of options for respite, like emollients to moisturise the skin and steroids to reduce inflammation.

People like the National Eczema Society are trying to find the causes and cures for eczema. This sponsored swim is my bit to help them in their work for everyone (Martha included) who has to suffer this condition.

So, to celebrate my 40th birthday; September 18th -  and to raise awareness for National Eczema Week;  13th – 20th September – I’m going to do;

40 outdoor swims, over
40 days, to raise
£40,000.

If you’re itching to help me, or if you just want to know the page is there,  you can sponsor me at:

www.justgiving.com/40swims

But I can’t do it alone, I’ll need your help. So, welcome to my blog. Have a look around, sponsor me, get in touch, tell your friends and get involved…

GO ON, you know you want to!

Don’t forget, that’s:

www.justgiving.com/40swims